ALL the Moms!

If you haven't heard (because you've been living underground since the dawn of time, or you're a vampire who doesn't watch television or read magazines, in which case, thanks for stopping by my blog, vampy!) Mother's Day is fast approaching. The ONLY day off we (might) get all year, us Mom's are pretty PUMPED about Mothers Day. 

Don't let those fools who say "I don't need a special day to celebrate heaving a child through my womb and dealing with fecal matter on a semi-regular basis, I LOVE my job of being a mother" make you think Mother's Day isn't the holiest of all days. It is. It's right up there with Xmas! 

Mother's Day (!!!) is the day that all of you sad sacks have to BOW TO OUR MIGHTY VAGINES and accept our all-knowing power over you (you being our partners and children.) God help the same-sex female couples who have TWO MOMS (!!!) on Mother's Day! Double the power! Double the mani-pedi's! DOUBLE THE BREAKFAST IN BED!

Seeing as my children STILL don't know how to make their own damn breakfast (how freaking hard is it to pour a dang bowl of cereal, folks!) chances are I will be doing some work that day, but I warn you now, Hubs, you'd better throw it down this year. Throw. It. Down. 

Alas, this post isn't about me and my once-annual urge to power-monger my family, it's about the fact that I have MORE Mom's than you. Legit. And I'm going to celebrate them all!

As some of you may know, my family is WACKED. I've accepted it. It is what it is. Some people are born with money and great teeth, some people are born with straight up crazy. Thankfully I can earn or buy the former, cause I got the latter! The advantage is, being surrounded by crazy folk my whole life gives a lot of fodder for humor-based things like joke-telling and blog writing. Disadvantage? I see none. :)

My immediate family resembles no tree I've ever seen... it's more like a subway map. A really detailed one. I needn't go into further detail then that, suffice it to say that my parents like getting married. A lot. I'm okay with that. Spread the love, people!

Because my Dad likes getting married, since I was born I've had a grand total of 4 "Moms", including my Grandma. (Ed. Note: My dad never married my grandma. I wasn't born THAT close to the north pole!) All lovely, amazing women each of whom has taught me so much about life and love.

We'll start with my Grandma, Jeanette. 

My Grandma at just 16 years old! 1948

My grandma is the woman who raised me. From the time I was just an itty bitty baby, and the majority of my life until I was 18, I spent it with her.

Although our relationship could be tumultuous at times, we were always there for one another.

Life wasn't easy, we didn't have much, but my Grandma did everything she could to give me what she had. She wanted me to feel that I had a place in this world, and that place was with her.

She would drive me an hour to school, cart me around to parties and to and from work whenever I needed her to.

She was the one doing my homework with me, pushing me to be the best version of myself. Sometimes I loved her for it, but then I probably hated her for it more than I should have.

My grandma is like an M&M, hard on the outside but soft and sweet on the inside. From an older generation, she is quite set in her ways, but she's also open to change. Being a french catholic Canadian raised in the 1930's and 40's, she probably wasn't immediately open to the idea of me running off to the "big city" to be in the Music Business, Getting Tattoos and ultimately ending up with a 6 foot tall black man, but she's never criticized me for any of those choices. She pokes fun at them, in the way she pokes fun at everything, but the SECOND someone challenges me or my decisions, she's the first one to back me up and I love her for that.

Granny and Baby Cash

Not afraid to speak her mind, even when it's generally to stick her foot in her mouth, my grandma has always been a great source of comedy. I hope that I get my sense of humor from her. Maybe a little bit more fine tuned, though. ;)

The thing that makes me sad is that now, in our current lives, my grandma and I don't get to see each other very often. She was hospitalized after a series of mini-strokes a few years ago and being a five-hour drive away makes it difficult to break from every day life to visit her. We try to make it up there at least twice a year, which isn't nearly enough nor as much as she, myself or my kids deserve.

While she may not be the "sweet old granny" most people get, my grandma was more my Mom than anything. I think she has always seen me as more her child than her grand daughter, and I hope she knows how much I value her love and support then and now.

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Since there's no way to logically do this without seeming to show preference (which I don't... another issue that comes with having MANY Mama's!) I will just go chronologically... 

My "Mom-Mom"

When you have a lot of mother-figures in your life, it's hard to figure out a way to indicate who you're talking about when you say "My Mom", "My Mother", "My Other Mother!" without sounding super contrived and confusing. Since I didn't grow up with my Mom-Mom (aka the woman who gave me life) in the traditional sense, separating these roles has always been tricky. Each one has placed so much value and strength into my life, and although they each take on the same "role" their core relations to me are so different and intricate.

My Mom, Stella, and my niece Maya!
I think she got the "cutes" from me! ;)

My Mom Mom, Stella, was the ripe old age of seventeen when I was born. Always having been a fighter, there's nothing in this world she is more meant to do than be a mother. 

A beautiful soul, with equally beautiful and different children (five of us, to be exact) Stella is basically a giant walking heart.

Her capacity to love is only outweighed by her capacity to give. She gives to everyone she knows and she does it with her whole heart.

Although some difficult circumstances kept us at a distance for the majority of my developmental and teen years, we always seem to find our way back to each other. 

For a long time my Mom was sort of a mystical creature to me, which is fitting since she loves all things mystical. She wasn't a permanent fixture in my life, but she was always there... in my heart and my mind. It's almost like I could feel her love blanketing me, even though we were rarely physically together she left a strong imprint on me and no matter how much I was told or conditioned to think otherwise, I knew that the only thing I needed to know was how much she loved me. 

As I got older, more freedom, more sense of my self, I began to explore a stronger relationship with my Mom. This only confirmed what I had known all along, that she was intent on giving her love to the world, and to me. 

Again, I don't get to see her as much as I'd prefer, she has a life and my siblings to still raise. We visit as much as we can and talk online frequently. I hope one day we can build a strong bond where we talk every day, go shopping and spend time together the way that other mother-daughters do. I know that she is incredibly proud of me, and ultimately happy that the path I ended up on led me to be the person I am today. I know it was never easy for her to be separated from me, even for a moment let alone the majority of my formative years, but she and I have come to terms with that, I think. 

From my Mom, I get my creativity and my strong sense of love and maternal instincts. Also my chin, face shape and TERRIBLE HAIR! (Thanks, MOM!) :P

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Angela (now known as "Gran")

From the time I was six months old until I was around five, Angie was a permanent fixture in my life. She married my dad when I was a toddler and we all lived together for a few years before their separation. Although in hindsight I know how difficult of a time it was for her, she was the first "Mom" I really knew.

After she and my Dad split, I went back to Granny. Only by chance, about 10 years later, did we once again find each other, in a pet store at the mall, no less. I was shopping with Granny and she, with her now 3 other kids, and we spotted each other. She recognized me as the kid she'd mothered years before and within no time I was spending every weekend at her house. I felt so reconnected and I was so excited to be welcomed back into her family as her "other daughter". I was given a new family to be part of. A sister and two brothers, all younger than me, who became my closest siblings. 

Gran and baby Cash (Geez, I need some new pics!)

Going into my Senior Year in high school I ended up moving in with Angie and her family, as things at "home" had taken a turn and I needed a safehaven. My "other mother" provided me with everything I needed to finish school and then go off and take on the world. I know it wasn't easy for her to let me up and move to Toronto, away from her protective arms, but she knows "how I am" and that trying to stop me would be impossible. 

Now, even more years later (oh god, I feel old now) my children are lucky enough to have ANOTHER family and another place to call home. Another Aunt and Two more uncles! People, who I hope dearly, will become strong influences in their lives and give them the same strength, love and protection that they once afforded me when I needed it so bad.

Although it makes for some seriously busy Christmas-adventures, having so many more people in my kids lives, so many grandmas and grandpas and grans and "papa smurfs" around, it'll only give my kids more confidence and support and that's a pretty amazing thing!

From Angie, I get my strength and perseverance. Definitely my stubborn-ness. I WISH I got her hair! 

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Judy aka "Nanny"

Nanny and Cashy before he was even cute!

Last, and most definitely NOT least, is my closest "Mother" (geographically) and I guess the most recent addition, too, although it has been a decade. My Dad's most recent wife (ugh that sounds worse than it is, I swear!) Judy has been a part of my life since 8th grade. She skipped happily into my life with her two kids, Jillian (Jilleh) and David (Uncle DAAAVE!) in tow, both pretty itty bitty back then (Jilly is still pretty itty bitty now, asamatteroffact!) 

Judy has been SO MANY things to me in my life. Shelter from the storm. Personal Nurse. Sounding board. Psycho-therapist. Labour Coach. Support System. Babysitter. But also, and most importantly, a Mom.  MY Mom. However late in the game she showed up, she still had to deal with me as a teenager, which definitely solidifies her rank in my books!

Judy is who I call when I'm bored, or driving, or sick, or hungry. She's who makes me laugh when I'm sad. Who makes sure I don't take life too seriously. She is the all-mighty NANNY, the one who Cash wants to call when he's got a boo-boo. She takes my kids on the weekends when I just need a break. She gives me shit when I'm being a butthead and tells it like it is when I need to suck it up and be a grown up.

Most people get confused when she says "and this is my daughter, she's 26 and has two kids!" because she looks and sounds about 16 years old and I'm pretty sure was like, 11 when I was born. 

From Judy, I get my WEIRD sense of humor. I get my fondness of nerd-girl stuff, and I get so much strength, hulk size, in fact. 

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These are my Moms. I have ALL THE MOMS!!!! and it's pretty rad. I think I'll keep 'em! 

I'm sorry and You're Welcome!

Vocabulary and the Lack Thereof

Carter is 18 months now. I can barely believe how fast time has flown with him. He is quite the roustabout! He's into everything, very physical and really just all over the place. He also still loves sleeping! Every night at bedtime if we aren't getting the gears in motion to put him to bed he will pick up his blankie and paci, waddle into his room and point at his crib. He's really serious about it too.

Last week I took him to his doctor and we did all of the usual stuff, the shot (note no plural there) as well as the height and weight, and the dreaded checklist of milestones. Is he walking without support? Yes of course! Can he follow simple instructions? He loves helping mama throw out diapers after a change.

Does he have 20 or more words... errr...no. In fact, with the exception of the occasional mama and dadadada and "mmmbop" (yes, mmmbop! You can't make that stuff up!) he has no words. Zero. Zilch. Nada. None!!!

I've heard him say "up up" and "peeeease" once or twice, but the words never seem to stick. I hate comparing but by 18 months old Cash had welcomed his baby brother and could say well over 100 words, including stringing together 2 to 3 words together at a time.

Until this point only one person had shown any concern about Carter's lack of vocabulary and suggested we see a doctor about it. For the most part people have said that as a second child it's totally normal for him to speak later for a bunch of reasons. Reasons like us being busier than with our First and less focused on applying learning techniques (true) and the older child speaking for the younger child (also true)... carter is also crazy observant. He watches everything happen, taking it all in, for the most part he's generally quite calm and simply likes to see what people are up to. Due to these reasons I haven't let this no-talking thing really stress me out. In fact, as any parent of an almost-three-year old can attest to, a non-verbal kid can seem like a blessing sometimes when the other one is screaming or asking "why why why" or simply being particularly hard to reason with.

Carter's doctor asked a few questions that, at the time, I was quick to dismiss. The thought that kept (and keeps) running through my head was (is) "It's nothing to be worried about! He just has no interest in talking yet and like most kids will talk when he's ready!"

When the doctor asked me if Carter flails his arms randomly or when he's frustrated I was quick to say no. I hadn't noticed it before, honestly.

When he asked me if he tries to talk I said yes. Paying closer attention to him this weekend while we urged him to say words and he got more and more frustrated until we gave in told me otherwise.

He asked if he can understand us and I strongly said "yes absolutely! There's nothing wrong with him!" But today as he ignored my pleas for him to stop booking it towards the road made me question his little baby intentions. Does he ignore me deliberately? What does that mean?

The doctor backed off, seeing that I was adamant that there isn't anything wrong with my son and I want to give him more time to develop naturally, on his own. That I don't think he is delayed at all and that he simply doesn't want to talk. End of conversation.

Or is it?

I spoke to a few friends this weekend, and they all suggested I get him on the waiting list now at our local Special Needs clinic which focuses on a few issues like speech pathology and developmental delays as well as many others. When the doctor suggested it my brain just went into mama bear mode and I couldn't reconcile that my child would NEED a program like that. There is nothing wrong with him, I thought.

When my friends urged me, telling me if it gives him an advantage then why not, and if there is an issue at least we will deal with it early on it started to make more sense. Carter isn't broken, we don't know if he is or isn't anything yet. I do know a few things, though;

He is a December baby which means hell be starting kindergarten at 3 which gives us less time to prepare him for this stage.

He is a handful and a half and having the ability to communicate with him now may help us reel in his behaviour earlier on.

He is smart. So so smart. But he needs more time focused on him and his development, and not split between him and his brother and the life of daily routines.

For all of these reasons and more I am sure I will think of I am going to put him on the list and get him into a speech program, or at least a screening. The worst thing that could happen is he is diagnosed with something early and we are given that much more time to help him in these crucial developmental years, and the best thing that can happen is we spend six months on a waiting list, get called up only to have to decline because his speech has improved significantly in that time.

Sounds like a win win to me.

I'm sorry and You're Welcome!

Pinteresting Wednesday: Cash's Moustache Bash (Take Two!)

Pinteresting Wednesday is a (mostly) weekly feature on Crawl The Line which features the most awesomest (it's a word! sort of.) pins I could find on Pinterest in a variety of categories and themes. Check back every week for more "Pinteresting" pins or check out some of my previous PW posts here! Happy Pinning!

Oh, and follow me on Pinterest to see the pins being pinned in live action!

Mr.Cash is almost THREE. I can't even fathom this as reality right now, so bare with me!

I haven't done much in the way of prep for the big 0-3, yet, but I have compiled a VERY detailed board on Pinterest and sent my order in for the cake. Check. Only 893 more things to do!

Since last year's Moustache Bash got cancelled due to unforseen circumstances (aka our House almost not closing and damn mortgage brokers!) we (I) decided to have a do-over! Cash is very excited about becoming a "little man" and tells me he wants at LEAST two moustache's to wear that day. Good to know, dude. 

Here's the Birthday Boys Pinterest Board!

As for the rest of the party... well here's my plan:

.........

Great looking Moustache Cake.
Incorporates all the "trendy mom stuff" right now.
Flag Banners? Check.
Monogram? Check.
Red and Teal? Check.
Stripes? Check.
Moustaches? Uber Check.
(source: Pinterest)

This one is a little more simple.
Ha.
I love the detail.

Printable for the Parents/Adult Guests

This is more of a barbershop theme, but take all the barbershop stuff
away and what do you have? Moustaches!!!

Invitation Inspiration!

I like this idea. Super cute.
It makes me think of a BETTER one, though!
PIN the Stache' on CASH!
ba-dum-tsshhh!

"Wet Your Whiskers" Drink Station
BA HA HA HA

More Moustache-inspiration!

Photobooth/Party Props

I can make one for Carter using felt!

Loot Bags! :)